feeling this way. Depressed. Alone. Emotionally unstable.
People are for real dying and don’t want to, and I’m alive and wish I wasn’t.
What would I do if I got cancer? Would I be overjoyed that I would have a way out? A way out becuz I’m too big of a pussy to attempt my own demise. I’d do it wrong, my kids might miss me, yadda yadda yadda.
People die everyday and don’t want to.
WHY THE FUCKKKKKKKKKK CANT I BE HAPPY FOR BEING ABLE TO BE HERE? TO EMBRACE THE MOMENT, THE HERE AND NOW?
I feel so alone. I am numb, but I break so easily. Thoughts enter my mind and just destroy my being. Why is life so hard? Why can’t I be “normal” and have friends and lovers and be in relationships with people with meaning?
Why can’t I? I isolate for what? Cuz I’m scared of what people think. When I shouldn’t give a flying fuck.
People die everyday and they want to be here.
Why can’t I just be….